you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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