What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
