I didn't shave. On purpose
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
