Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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