it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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