how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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