tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
