My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
