Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
