do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
