This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
