Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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