I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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