he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
