I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
