You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
