Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
