Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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