I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
