She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
