Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You don't make any sense
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