i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
