dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
