Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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