I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
