im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
