Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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