he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
