She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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