i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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