I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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