he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
