I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
