i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
