Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
