Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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