when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
