I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
