no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
