it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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