You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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