kristin has been a bad kristin
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My ass is underappreciated
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
