omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
