I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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