i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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