Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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