my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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