I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
