YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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