i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
