why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
