"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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